|
Down in Jamaica they got lots of pretty women
Steal your money then they break your heart, yeah
Lonesome Sue she's in love with ol' Sam
Take him from the fire into the frying pan
Damn, they must've slipped something strong to knock me out this bad, Trunks thought to himself while in the world of the subconscious. The sedatives that drugged him kept him from being conscious and thus he had no way of knowing where he would end up and who he would see at that end. Since his thoughts couldn't wake him from unconsciousness, Trunks figured to let his mind wander to other things. Wander wander wander. No good. It was like travelling in circles, no beginning and no end. The same thoughts just played over and over in mind like a broken record.
That's it..might as well make something useful out of this. Using his redundant thoughts he put it in a scenario that happened not too long ago. The dance he had organized with the help of Chandra. Ah, yes, what a night that was indeed. Blasting music, iridescent lighting, and most importantly the dancing. He watched it all play before him just as he had planned and hoped it would. Kazuhiro turned out to be a good dancer, startlingly enough considering how much of an innocent he is. Pretty much everyone in their group knew Kazuhiro felt rather strongly for Sabrina, and eventually Kazuhiro got to tell her just so. Trunks grinned when he remembered how he pretended to be drunk and got Sabrina upset at him. At least the groundwork for that hopeful-couple-to-be was placed. Then there was Eiko and Kara, an already well-established pairing. Since Trunks was on his lonesome that night, dancing with his best friend for a bit wouldn't hurt right? For awhile it didn't hurt, until Eiko got jealous and took Trunks' spot of dancing close to Kara. Trunks knew Kara will probably get him back for that one, but oh well. They were happy as it was so he left it at that. Hmn, as for Chandra, well, she was working and dancing without much modesty in one of the cages of the nightclub. She was busy for one thing, and the fact that blood-wise she was his daughter although her father was a Trunks from an alternate realm. Two very good reasons to leave her be.
Hmn, that's right, she wasn't there...was she? Trunks had hoped she would be there, and when she didn't come with Eiko and the others he thought she was trying to make an entrance by showing up late. But no, she didn't show at all. And it made Trunks wonder on that for awhile. Yeah right, awhile, he was wondering about that -entire- night. Probably one reason why he didn't seem to enjoy himself much there.
On and on
I just keep on trying
And I smile though I feel like crying
On and on, on and on, on and on
Whoa now wait a second. Why did it matter if she came to the dance or not? Simple, it would've been nice to have her company. Grr, damn subconcious, the thing's capable of one more than one thought running simulteaneously. Why would it matter? She hasn't been part of the group long. Yes, but she could be. Great. Trunks was losing his sanity. Again. He sighed, and so did his thoughts. Something must be wrong with him if it's taking a toll on his sanity levels. It didn't take much time to know just exactly what was wrong with him. As always, no matter what came his way there was one thing that could make or break him. Build him up well beyond the stratosphere or knock to the door steps of oblivion.
This condemnable heart of mine, he thought. Is it that stubborn that it doesn't learn the same repeated lesson? You refuse to let it learn. Shut up! Trunks was getting disgusted..with himself. That makes matters so much better for him doesn't it? Not at all. To know that no matter how hard you try to push it away the heart continues to feel the positive emotions of life did seem rather discouraging for him at times. If he had it his way, he would decide to never love another again and live a life of absolute solitude and personal confinement. He went as far as making the decision, but a few things just wouldn't seem to let him alone. Even though having Trunks' memories, Eiko still could use his advice on how to keep Kara at least content if not happy. Trunks couldn't leave his best friend behind, and Kazuhiro, even little Kazu could find always come to him for help. See, Trunks didn't have the heart to just walk out of their lives, nor could ever do that to them on his own will. If it was his choice, he couldn't leave them, including her. Again, Trunks became disgusted with himself.
I have to settle this wretched thing straight if I am to live with a sound mind.
[Yes every night I keep wondering why
Will I ever get another chance to see your lovely eyes?
And everyday to myself I say
"I got to keep on pushing cos I love her that way."
And one more question, "Will you be mine?"
And if I see you please tell me no lies
Be up front and baby realize
That for you, I'm holding on and on and on]
He had to sort it all out, which turned out to be much easier than Trunks had expected. He has had his heart broken on many occassions so it was little wonder why even now he was still recovering from the loss of Arina. Of course it still hurt him..with the Bond and Link they shared...but wait, wasn't there love in that mix in some point of their relationship? Trunks searched himself for the answer to that; it was obvious that he was attracted to her, but was it all that it was? No. Had there been more time for them, more chances to know each other better, he certainly would have loved her truly. But she was more distant towards him that he had thought, not to mention she only died before he could really had the chance to fall immensely. Trunks sighed, there he went again. Back in circles.
Everytime he tried to look for someone he possibly could take care of, they always ended leaving him. Mostly because they died or they were destined off with another. Fate's been out to make matters of the heart miserable for Trunks it seems. With every lesson he learned he had to get the smack down for trying to do something good. Trunks saw no logic in that really.
Lonesome Jimmy sits alone in the moonlight
Saw his woman kiss another man, yeah
Takes up a ladder, steals the stars from the sky
Puts on Bob Marley and starts to cry
That's one reason why he created Eiko right? To be the man Trunks had always wanted to be but never could. And look, Eiko found Kara and he's been content with that since. Hopefully his best friend apprieciates Eiko for how he is towards her. Eiko knows of Trunks' heartaches but cannot fully understand them because he never felt them. On a few occassions Eiko was at the brink of losing Kara, some too close for comfort. Fortuneatly the Priestess has stayed with him which was automatically one point for Eiko ahead of Trunks. Many times, after every heartbreak, Trunks would convince himself to never go looking again. Looking for something that put its eyes on everyone else but him. Then there is that damnable heart of his that refuses to let go of the good moments. The precious moments. The ones that slip away like a gentle breeze. The ones that remain in memory and stay there, chiding the heart to seek out more of that bliss...no matter how great the sacrifice to obtain it may be. And by Kami-sama, he has sacrificed -much- for the strongest of all human emotions. Love. That 4-letter word which toddlers could spell, but not even the oldest of wise men could define logically. That's the thing isn't it? Love isn't logical. Not a darn bit. The emotion is its own judge and jury and thus contents itself to doing its own thing.
On and on
I just keep on trying
And I smile though I feel like crying
On and on, on and on, on and on
So this explains why she caught my attention? Not entirely. This was down-trodding for the half-Saiyajin. Answering his own questions possibly meant that 1.) he has known the answers all along and just too much of a baka to act upon it or 2.) he was afraid to find the answers some other way. Some other way meaning, he would have to bring it up to someone to get it out in the open. No. He refused to do the latter, already having it fixed in his mind that he's more of a basket case than Kara. She'd hardly believe that but oh well, he thought so. Trunks sorted the minor things out which was all fine and dandy. Time to take on the real obstacle.
Well my first time
Is my last time
Makes you feel so good
Well if you know it, why don't you show it?
Baby hold on tight, don't let her say "Goodbye"
When he first met her, all he thought was that she was Chandra's assistant which he was right in thinking that. But he thought of this assistant as someone who came and went as she pleases, dropping helpful advice whenever appropriate. Instead, what happened was that she remained amongst the people of the group. To have a demon that actually fed off of positive emotions, unlike Neo, was something that needed for himself and the rest of the group. One after the other was simply a string of events, mostly traumatic to one or more of the people involved. Thankfully there was Kazuhiro and Sabrina to help during troubled times and little Hiro to always be cheerful and happy-go-lucky as childrend tend to be. Yet Trunks doubted that none of them, even Eiko, really apprieciated the catgirl that did more than she had to just so everyone could be happy. Why was it him to notice then? Easy, he has kept watch on her almost since the day they met. He took to note her bright and cheery smile, her words of comfort and hope...
Find light in your darkest hour
As simple as that phrase was, it was the best thing told to him in..he couldn't even remember when the last time it was that he heard someone speak hope into him. Normally it was he to tell others not to give up and that sort of thing, but this time it was different. And for a time it scared him. He always made it known to the rest of the group that if they needed to talk to someone, they could always come to him. He helped Kara to get her to confess to Eiko that she had feelings for him. Even in his psuedo-drunken stupor, he had hoped that Sabrina at least knew that love doesn't come with a bedroom and that Kazuhiro is whole-hearted in his feelings for her. The last thing Trunks wanted to see is another heartbreak. As long as it was in his power to do something about it, he would. Of course, unless Fate deemed otherwise. All the times he had helped others, he had nearly forgotten how it feels to receive the same thing he gives to others. That changed when she came along, that's for sure.
[Don't say goodbye cos I'm moving on and on
And for you, pretty lady, I thought I'd write this song
The clock keeps ticking, my heart keeps on wishing
To hold you in my arms, so please keep on skipping
And my direction as I start to flow (hey!)
Thinking about the good times that you and I can know (hey!)
The only time of silence please don't let me go (hey!)
Please don't let me see me let my love go]
Notice how Trunks hasn't even let the fact that she's a catgirl enter his thoughts until now. Those cat-like creatures that wore little clothing, yeah, that type. Not having seen it done himself, Trunks could easily figure that creatures like that could easily be the victims of exploitation and the like. Utterly dreadful a thing to deal with in his opinion. No one should just merely be used and tossed away whenever one was finished, no one. No matter what race the person may be. A life is not lived to be taken advantage of by others and from keeping his own personal observations on her, Trunks knew something was amiss. One would like to hope an always positive personality was genuine, but even then there are times when that gleefulness cannot show for reasons unbeknowst to anyone but the person. When that happens, the person hides the unhappiness for the sake of others. Trunks would know, he's guilty as charged for doing the very same thing on multiple occassions. He -knows- he has done that more and better skilled at it than Kazuhiro and Eiko combined, except for the fact that ever since Arina he wasn't able to put up his defenses as readily as he had before. Precisely just as Trunks had told himself before. Love makes or breaks you. Sadly for Trunks, it's been the latter so frequently that it feels like a bad joke.
I've got the sun on my shoulders and my toes in the sand
My woman left me for another man, yeah
But I don't worry, I just dream and stay tan
Toss up my heart and see where it lands
"What do I do now?", "Am I fated to fall and be torn apart again?","Am I to play the fool again, the jester out of the entire group?" All these questions and a myriad more of them filled his head like water does in a swimming pool. He swam through it, started to sink, and sink farther. Faster and deeper beyond the surface. Try as he might every movement he made only caused him to dive more into the depths of his subconscious. Some rather odd moments of denial sprang forth until the re-realization struck him: Love won't let me go. Another heavy sigh. "Fine, I've accepted it. Now what? Who could it be? Why? How?"
Again, he knew the answers to all those questions and was still afraid to acknowledge them. All falling did was made him out to be another hopeless male, made to appear that the only thing he cared for was sex appeal. He knew right well that that was entirely not true. He's learned that lesson a long time ago, go for friendship first before getting all head over heels for someone that could very end up hurting him in the end. He was still learning that lesson. It was in him to like a person for personality and for the good he saw in others as opposed to what people think of the person. Which explains why he has a Priestess for a best friens right? But still, the fear of another pain, another hope shattered....another lie lingered tremendously within him. Trunks has been there, done all of that. And most of where he has been he wishes never to see again.
On and on
I just keep on trying
And I smile though I feel like dying
On and on, on and on, on and on
"So that settles it doesn't it? A seed has already been sown..." and Trunks knew that only with good tidings and a first-time stroke of goodwill from Fate will that seed grow. He wasn't going to push for progress with the thing nor was he going to hinder any progress of it either. In the end, all he knew was that he would continue to be the same. Take care of others and ensure their saftey/sanity. So that included hers as well. To hell with what the others will think of him if it became apparent that something was going on with him. Something possible yet very unlikely to happen. Since when was he ever deserving of such a wonderful gift? Now that was something he didn't know. Finally.
Consciousness was beginning to stir, thus his contact with the subconscious was slipping gradually. Hopefully he would remember the things he just discovered within himself once he was awake and able to beat the burning hell out of that cyborg that put him to sleep and the mastermind behind the whole scheme. Something in him said that he would no doubt be seeing her sometime soon, and Trunks was content with that. As long as she and the others were all right, that's what mattered to him most. That's all that mattered..
...Right?
|
